My Fail-Proof Friend

Ah, this is rather an amusing topic. Being someone who is very sarcastic by nature, I’m quite the eye-roller. There are few things which do NOT prompt some sort of outward display of sarcasm. Eye-rolling certainly has its merits, but I am more inclined towards the solo eyebrow raise.

Here is a list of things which get my eyes a-rollin’:

* stupidity in all possible forms

* bad clothing (sorry, but yes. I am a snob)

* bad spelling
* pick-up lines

I think the first item in my list pretty much covers everything else – make it as broad as you possibly can.

However, the number one thing that is guaranteed to make me roll my eyes?

Someone who is false.

Truly, I recently discovered that some of my girlfriends who I’d known since school and whom I actually believed to be decent human beings were actually the most fake, vain, vapid and vulgar people I’d had the ill luck to know. I’m speaking about people who think that everyone and everything revolves around them. A slight must be aimed at them. A compliment could be meant for no one else.

In fact, weren’t we all born for the sole purpose of paying homage to these beacons of insecurity?

*rolls eyes*

If I’m honest, I was at first devastated by my discovery. I felt betrayed, stupid and overwhelmed, simultaneously. I must have sobbed like a little girl for about three days.

FAKE. VAIN. VAPID. VULGAR.

However, slowly I came to the realization that the only true and appropriate response was my good old friend.

The eye roll.

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