Argument in Dialogue

Feminist Friend: “So if you went to a hotel, what did he do?”

Me: “Psssh, he totally lost his in the back of a car, at a club, with some chick he just met.”

Feminist Friend: “Ooh, classy.”

Me: “Yeah, some old chick who was trawling. Very classy indeed.”

Loverboy: “What do you mean, some old chick?”

Me: “…but that’s what you said. You were drunk, she was hitting on you…”

Loverboy: “No. She was 16.”

Feminist Friend: “Uh oh…love each other!”

Me: “Loverboy, you definitely said she was older than you. I never would have been able to accept you having slept with a 16 year old!”

Loverboy: “I think you’re getting confused with Oldndesperate. She was older.”

Me: “No, we came clean with each other, remember? I would have remembered if you had mentioned a 16 year old. I even asked about ages!”

Loverboy: “I wouldn’t have lied, maybe you didn’t ask about that one.”

Feminist Friend: “Guys! It’s in the past, it doesn’t matter.”

Me: “If he lied, then it does. Why would you have magically forgotten to add her age?”

Loverboy: “I don’t think you asked.”

Me: “…it didn’t occur to you to say, although I asked about all the others? I don’t buy it. You hid it, deliberately.”

Feminist Friend: “I have to go, but stop fighting. Love each other!”

*I let Feminist Friend out*

Me: “Look, the point is, you misrepresented yourself. You made me think you were this guy who was moral and enjoyed the finer things in life. Meanwhile, you’ll fuck anyone who you lay eyes one, despite being drunk, in the back of a car at a dodgy bar! That is not the sort of man I want to love. You lied to me.”

Loverboy: “It was not anyone, and she was hot! She was very hot, and ready to have sex. She’d been sleeping with her boyfriend, for God’s sake.”

Me: “Oh, OK. 16 years old, promiscuous and with a boyfriend. Sounds like the kind of person I’d like to lose my virginity with. Did you even use a condom?”

Loverboy: “Yes, I did, and they were broken up.”

Me: “You were a rebound for a 16 year old. How is that OK, on any conceivable level?”

Loverboy: “I was 18 years old, I made an immature decision.”

Me: ” Oh, but at 16 she was making very mature decisions…that is logical.”

Loverboy: “She was already having sex, if not with me then with someone else.”

Me: “But you are condoning that type of behaviour! I though we agreed that the only way to have a responsible society was for each person to realise that they have to be the rule, not the exception! You can’t say that promiscuity is bad and then take advantage of it!”

*long story short…*

Loverboy: “Baby, what I did was wrong. It felt right at the time, but it’s not a decision I’m proud of.  I’m sorry, baby, I love you.”

"Oh wait, this isn't classy at all!"

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